Peace On Earth

Let it begin with me... What better way to spread "peace" than to show it to others through my actions. Share the gift.

Frantic Frenzy or Merry Memories?

Tis the Season to be Jolly . . . or Is It?

What a challenge we could face if the potential pressures of the season are allowed to creep into our heads. On Black Friday, I ventured to the Mall to return a previously purchased item. My trip was not a part of the mass hysteria of the day after Thanksgiving - I chose not to let the adversticing hype lure me.

I did however experience the angst of the day in the "full to the brim" mall parking lot. Every aisle, every space, every driver jockeying for a spot. My choice was to cruise up & down until I found a mom & daughter leaving & "jamming" bags into a totally packed trunk.

Inside the mall store, as I stood in line to return my item, shoppers checking out had obviously not embraced Control Theory philosophy. Frustrated, anxious and persistently arguing why "Early Bird" prices were no longer being accepted (at 1:00 pm) - Oops! Thankfully the cashier/sales rep. remained calm and tactfully courteous.

I returned my item, thanked the cashier, wished her a Merry Christmas and walked away passing more frantically busy shoppers with arms full. I smiled, went to my car and bequeathed my highly prized parking space to the first car in a long line of potential bargain hunters. My, what we put ourselves through to be "happy" during the Season of Joy.

Merry Christmas All...Remember the real reason for the season.

You Can't Tell What Someone is doing....

"You can't tell what someone is doing by looking at what they are doing." If you have been through the ACT training, you are probably familiar with this phrase. I can't stress to you how much these words have come back over and over again to haunt me. I think that I understand it, then something happens and BAM! I am assuming I know what someone is doing, thinking, or believing based on what they are doing and acting on that assumption (positively or negatively).

Normally, I try to repeat this phrase to myself to remember that, although I can make assumptions about someone, I really cannot know what a person is controlling for when they do something. Usually, this helps me take a step back and assess a situation before acting in a mean or derogatory way. As my principal likes to say, "I am good at until I am not."

Just recently I have had the sad experience in life of loosing a friendship in part because we both forgot this universal truth. You probably have a similar story, she gave me unsolicited advice in area where I told her to give me space. I made assumptions and fired off an e-mail. She made assumptions and fired one back. I made assumptions and fired off an even nastier one. Before you know it, we are both stuck in our world of assumptions, too angry to talk to the other person. (Isn't e-mail great!) There is a lot more to the story, but suffice it to say I wonder what would have happened if I took the time to look at it from a different perspective instead of believing that I KNOW what she was trying to do. I wonder what would have happened is she took a step back and re-thought how she thought about me and my boundaries or intentions. Life is certainly filled with I wonders!

The good thing that has come out of this is that I understand on a deeper level the importance of approaching the world from the perspective that we don't know what someone is doing. I can't stop myself from making assumptions; it is part of who I am. What I can do is to stop myself before acting on them.

Choosing Connection and Cold Chicken

This evening, a friend and I went out for dinner.  Nothing fancy, really, just a simple dinner at Boston Pizza.  I ordered the Chicken Parmesan and he ordered the Cajun Chicken rice bowl.  His food arrived piping hot and mine stone cold.

I found this annoying even though this sort of thing happens ALL the time in ANY restaurant in town.  For the past 15 years, enjoying a nice meal out with a friend is hit or miss.  Knowing that this happens all the time and expecting it to occur, did not help keep me in balance; error was still present.

However, I refused to return the dish.  I forced myself to eat the breaded chicken breast covered with tangy tomato sauce and cheese with a side of boiled frozen vegetable; all of it cold.

Informing the waitress of the situation did not help my error.  I tried to justify to her why I informed her of a problem but then refused to send back to the dish.  It was an awkward conversation, to say the least, and by the end of it, my error had grown. 

All of a sudden, I realize that what had happened really didn’t make sense to me either. Why was I eating a disgusting meal, complaining about it and refusing people the opportunity to fix it?  What was it I was trying to get?  What’s more important here?

As I was walking out the restaurant door, it came to me.  I valued eating at the same time as my friend and sharing a meal together much more than I cared about what I was eating.  Once I realized this and said it out loud to my friend, I felt a lot better. 

The things we do for connection, eh?

Introductions: Hello fellow ACTers

My name is Jason and I am a teacher of a grade 2 class in Canada.  This year, I have the opportunity of working with a child who has been labeled “autistic.”  I am quite excited about using my understanding of PCT and ACT to help Sophia "be the best she can be."  I've also decided to blog about it.

I invite you to check it out:  PCT and a Student with Special Needs (link below and to the right)

My contribution to this blog will be posts of "A-Ha!" moments while my blog will be updated weekly.  I hope to generate discussion so please feel free to comment and share your ideas.

In the meantime, here's an excerpt:

"I always start my school year with the “Connected School” lesson plans.  I use the first two weeks to create classroom beliefs, rules, and a list of “jobs” for students and teacher.  In control theory terms, what I am doing is creating common reference perceptions at various levels of perception in order to have everyone connected.

I made sure Sophia, who is autistic, was present for all these lessons. I also made sure to call upon her to participate and share her ideas.  It made no difference to me whether she actually spoke or contributed.  What was important to me was that she was exposed to the info and activities and that she in some way experienced them.  In control theory terms, humans learn by experiencing something, then labeling that experience and finally self-evaluating.  I could expect other students to experience and label at the same time, but I was not expecting that from Sophia.  I only wanted her to experience the lessons.  I would label her behaviour afterwards throughout the school day.  I was also controlling for Sophia to feel a connection to everyone in the class at some level of perception."

Observations, Questions and Comments of a Mad Pregnant Woman

Hello All, I have been absent for sometime from the blog. As many of you know, I am expecting my first child in January. This has left me forming many new loops in my brain as I accommodate for this important change in my life. All this change has left me with so many PCT thoughts and questions that it is hard to put them into words.

First, I have found it interesting rediscovering myself as hormones course through my body. For most of my adult life, I have a reference at my principles level that I want to be a peace maker. This series of loops usually has me compromising and maintaining calm, sometimes to my detriment. However, it is important to me to be this person, so when in conflict, I find myself "bumping it up" to this loop. Recently, though, I had a couple friends tell me that I seem to be a little feistier than usual. After reflection, I would have to say they are correct. I still do try to be the peace maker, but when that doesn't seem to work I go into "Feisty Girl" mode. Everyone says that it is the hormones. My question is how, in terms of PCT do the hormones effect the brain chemistry and therefore which loops/levels I operate on?

Another mind blowing thought has been centered on the loops that my child is forming while growing in the womb. I never thought about this before, but as I read about the development of a baby in-utero I am amazed at the loops that are already forming. We usually combine the lowest levels into one category, called, Sensory. Already my child can distinguish light from dark, she can taste, hear, and touch (as evident by all the kicking around I am experiencing). I just find it amazing and how necessary it is for her survival to start these before coming into the world. I then wonder, is she forming categories from these senses as her brain develops? What about sequences? We know that babies in the womb test their movements; they can "play" with the umbilical cord, and other things with their limbs. Don't they need sequences to perform these actions? It was always a wonder to me that we have proven that by a child is 2 years of age, they have (in some form), all the different levels of perception in place. Of course my thoughts were that everything started outside the womb. From the perspective that forming loops starts even before a child enters the world, I can see how this miracle is accomplished.

"Shift" Happens

When faced with shaking your comfort zone & moving into the unknown - or at least the fog - it is reassuring and rewarding to witness when positive "shift" occurs in people around you. This week I witnessed such a positive internal realignment on the part of two co-workers.

One is an ACT III trained career teacher who was "reassigned" to the role of a Primary Reading Teacher (not the lead teacher role she has known for the past 12 years). The initial 'erk' was big and hard to swallow for this very caring and sensitive teacher. Using what she knows about Control Theory & the Loop, the adjustments made and ability to change her reference. Her reference shift & attitiude was "this is going to give me the opportunity to interact with and help more students with far less stress". Choosing a positive approach has eased her initial pain.

The second teacher is not ACT trained, but clearly understands the fundamental concepts of self-evaluation & redirection. School has been in session for only one week; the room is set and bulletin boards & instructional goals are in place... UNTIL... On Thursday afternoon this career teacher was presented with a wonderful yet "status" shattering opportunity. Her room will soon be transformed into the technological classroom of the 21st Century. Talk about upsetting the applecart - new tools, new techniques, new room arrangement, new instructional direction. Most would have a "hissy-fit" and question "Why now, why this; I'm already set & prepared?". Amazingly just the opposite occurred. In our conversation - just after the classroom visit - the response was "You know, I'm thinking this is going to work. This is going to be a good thing for the kids; we can do it!" What a positive shift in thinking again choosing to seek a new reference.

What amazing strength and insight on the part of both these ladies who when looking into the the eyes of the evil "change monster" faced with an unbelievable challenge and to seek a new reference midstream. It's wonderful to see someone "bump it up" to a higher level to resolve a conflict at a lower level. Understanding how to deal & react in such situations is healthy.

Benefits of Applied Control Theory

The following is from Sam Melchior, Evansville, IN.

During my 24 years of teaching I have attended dozens of workshops, professional development seminars, and read numerous books concerning many areas of education. In June of this year (2009) I attended ACT (Applied Control Theory) I. Without question it is the best training I have ever attended. The reasons are numerous, but most importantly to teachers is that it shows you specifically what you can do from day one to make your classroom the best it can be. You will be given specific methods to help with difficult situations that arise, and more importantly, how to prevent difficult situations from ever occurring. One of the great things about the training is how active it is for the participants. It is not a series of presentations by “experts” where you are just a passive listener. Many activities are incorporated to demonstrate how Applied Control Theory works in the real world. The participants get numerous opportunities to practice the specific methods and to discuss how the theory can be applied to their own situations. I am writing this approximately one month after attending ACT I. Fortunately, New View Publications is here in Evansville conducting training for teachers and other professionals from this area. I am participating as a casual observer during this training as a refresher before school starts. I hope to attend ACT II in January and Act III next summer.I must admit after a tough school year I was exhausted and not very enthusiastic about the upcoming school year. After the training in June I found myself looking forward to the new school year, confident in the fact I now have scientifically proven methods to help make our school a “connected school”, which means it is the best it can be.

Starting the School Year
I just finished reading an article on emotions that Bill Powers wrote. It is available in the book PCT A Book of Readings a free downloadable book available at www.livingcontrolsystems.com . A few of the articles in the book will be of special interest to IAACT folks. Some are more technical, others are very user friendly. (Jim Soldani’s article for example). As I read the article on emotions, I was struck by the wonderful simplicity of PCT. As an instructor, we are often asked, “Why did/does 'so and so' do 'such and such'?” the short answer is because they were experiencing error. However, what I think most folks really want to know is how to change the ‘such and such’.

In his article, Bill explains that “Under normal circumstances, behavior comes about for one of two reasons: either there is a disturbance which changes some perception and thus generates an error signal, or there is a change in the reference signal demanded by some higher control system, which change also generates an error signal.” This answer perhaps better addresses the answer to how do we change ‘such and such’. If we want a person to change the disturbance (environment) needs to change or they need to want (reference) something different.
As most of you begin the school year, this idea becomes very important. Spending time at the beginning of the year to clarify references addresses both reasons for behavior changing. It changes the environment and it provides different references. Remember that disturbance is anything in the environment over which I have no control that is having an effect on what I want (what I am control for). Disturbance is either helpful or hindering. When I think of disturbance, I often think about young children around the age of two, the classic age of ‘me-do’. When we perceive our actions as helping and they perceive them as hindering. Children of this age are often seeking independence and they view our helping as hindering their desire for independence. The same also can be said of middle school students, and seniors who are often control for independence and our actions are perceived as hindering them.
When we are building connections at the beginning of the year, we are laying the groundwork for less error throughout the rest of the year. I think we are also doing something else, we are trying to shift the reasons for why we do what we do - ‘Bump it up!”. As Jim Miller, founder of Warrior Concept International wrote; “We have a choice. We can be ‘nice’ to others because it’s proper manners to do so because we expect to get something from them, or because we have to live with them. Or, we can treat others with respect and honor because we recognize that we are already connected to them in some way.” (http://ezinearticles.com/?Martial-Arts-CHARACTER-And-the-Universal-Law-of-Interdependence---The-Keys-to-Life-Mastery,-Key-2&id=13554 ) Doing what I do because it is who I want to be and because I understand that, I am connected to everyone on this planet is very different from doing it because my elders told me to. One last for the moment the other lasts for a lifetime. Start the year thinking about the lifetime of you and your students, because in the end it will change many moments along the road.

Dealing with "It Is..."

Life deals us many "opportunities" daily. How we deal with those opportunities determines our health - both mental and physical. The phrase "It is what it is" and how I deal with "it is..." rings in my ears as I write this entry. How I understand and employ the steps of "the loop" in being the person I want to be when encountering these opportunities speaks volumes about my health.

Rising health-care costs, physical therapy, major work projects, continued employment, unexpected family budget items, auto maintenance and inter-personal relations all factor in to creating "loops" that need to be managed in our lives. When they occur simultaneously, management is a bigger, more critical issue. Do I wonder "Is the world caving in on me?" No; not when I understand "it is what it is" and deal with each situation using Control Theory training.

When I look at these events as "it is what it is" through the loop, my action options become more clear and my health is better as a result. Rational responses verses emotional reactions provide a formula for healthy living. A genuine smile that radiates from inside provides an opportunity to share your ACT knowledge with others. Share your strength and strengthen your health.

The Jigsaw Puzzle & ACT Training

I have a fascination with jigsaw puzzles and am currently engrossed in reconstructing a 1000+ piece puzzle - a very neat but busy montage of the 1960s. It occurred to me as I search for matching pieces that there is a direct connection to this task and Control Theory training & seminars.

Working off a card table, I have limited space for the puzzle and it's component scattered pieces. I am using the bottom of the box and box top to hold the unconnected pieces. Initially, I chose to put the puzzle together by taking a mental picture of the finished product and working from there. Currently there are probably 20 small pictures from the "big picture" that are being assembled inside the frame of the puzzle. Progress is slow - has anyone seen the two border pieces I am missing?

Herein lies the connection - I'm using the boxtop to hold unconnected pieces. I have been working on the puzzle off-and-on for three weeks and my mental picture is now somewhat fuzzy. I can't see the finished product unless I hold the boxtop over my head & stare. My personal challenge initially was to do the puzzle from memory - a conscious choice. It is now time to regroup and "refresh my memory"; I need to have a clear vision of my goal.

So it is with Control Theory learning & training sessions. There are several opportunities this summer and fall to participate in 'Intensive Seminars'. What a wonderful chance to reconnect and get a look at the overall picture of PCT and its applications in our life. Only when we revisit and see how seperate components (Overall Direction, Levels of Perception, the Loop, the Circle of Strength and MOL) fit into the 'big picture', can we again be refocused inspired to continue 'piecing it all together. By participating in these training sessions both we and those we work with benefit. We can refresh our memory of how everything fits together and those we live and work with are able to see and learn from our improved understanding. Sessions are being held across North Carolina in the next few months (and possibly in other areas working with IAACT or Life Connections). Plan to be a part of one of these events if you are new to 'Control Theory' or already familiar with the ACT experience. Contact New View or Life Connections for more information.

CSAP Grant

Our grant application to begin the process of building evaluation capacity within IAACT has been approved. The Center for Substance Abuse Prevention (CSAP) will oversee the implementation of the grant. We will work in five schools which have elected to participate in this process and are at varying stages of implementing A Connected School and Take Charge! principles and strategies in their substance abuse prevention programs. We will be communicating through this forum as we move forward in this process. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions regarding this initiative or would like to participate in some way.

Thank you.

Fred Good
Project Coordinator

Taming End of School Year Stressors

It goes without saying that most folks (adults and children alike) look forward to the end of the school year. Yet, that event particularly creates tremendous stress and anxiety on the part of all concerned. In NC the biggest stressor at year's end is known as the EOGs or EOCs - those mandated final "measures" of success. In other states that process lives by other names, but final testing exists wherever there are schools . There are other equally stressful events that come with the closing of the year- packing up, saying 'goodbye', retiring, planning summer jobs or vacations, getting ready for 'next year'. The question bodes "How best can we manage all the anxiety that is created in April, May and June?" The answer-by applying what we know and have learn during ACT training.

Readers and contributors, here is your opportunity to share the methods you employ - as the school year winds down - to remain in balance and perform at your most effective level of proficency. Share how you help your students and colleagues "manage the madness" that is an undesired constant of school life. Fill the page with your ideas and strategies.

Joi de Vivre and PCT

It has been awhile since I have posted anything partly because life took on a chaotic bent that I am just now trying to bring some order to. Through this chaos, this morning I found myself reflecting in joi de vivre, or what the french call Joy of Life.

In many ways developing an understanding of PCT has helped me to develop a deep joi de vivre. In a very important way, it allowed me to take more joy from my job as a teacher. Before the ACT training, there seemed to be an invisible wall between me and my students. I felt that I had to be something different than I am in order to be a responsible and professional teacher. Not that who I am is all that crazy, just slightly different than the norm. 4 years ago I found myself at a new school with a new principal who had a crazy idea. He wanted to have a "Connected School," and he thought I would make a good first candidate for the ACT training. Since that first training, I found some of those walls that I had put up start to come down. I found myself sharing more of myself with my students... more of my personal stories, my eccentricities, my fears and successes. As this happened, I found that my students started to open up to me. I was able to be the mentor that I always wanted to be but was always scared to try. I have said on many occasions that PCT has allowed me to be the teacher that I always wanted to be. Because of this, I have found more joy in job and in turn in my life.

I write all this here because I was curious about other stories people might have about how PCT has transformed their life. I believe that there is great truth in the telling and sharing of stories. Stories gives us a different perspective and layers of Truth from which we can derive wisdom. I invite all of you out there is cyberspace to share your PCT story so that we can learn from your Truth and experiences.

MOL questions

Hello everyone. Tim Carey has agreed to answer questions relating to the Method of Levels (MOL). We are going to try to use this blog for that purpose. If you have a question for him, please post it as a comment and he will respond.
Thanks,
Fred Good

From Shelley Roy - How Life Maintains Itself

How life maintains itself: Chaos and fractals in human physiology by Drs. L.E. Pihiajmaa-Glimmerveen http://www.glimmerveen.nl/LE/chaos.html is a wonderful article that is filled with PCT ideas! One of my favorite parts is when they say “We can even suppose that chaos in the functioning of our body means that all is going well, but that tight regularity means not all is well…” I found this very interesting as we often think in PCT that we want zero error, which we all know is not possible. This article however supports the idea that our system is beautifully designed to be in a constant state of shifting… where awareness follows error. For me knowing that no two instances will ever be identical just like no two snowflakes are identical is and exciting prospect.

Longevity & "In Pursuit of Happiness"

I am continually listening and looking for ‘control theory’ connections to share with others. Particularly poignant for me has been Perry Good’s book “In Pursuit of Happiness”. One of the book's first lines states "Happiness is a by-product of leading a balanced, varied and satisfying life which meets your needs”.
On NBC’s Today show (Feb. 20), Matt Lauer hosted a segment that caught my attention. It was about “Blue Zones” found around the world by National Geographic and AARP where people are documented to live much longer than normal. Watch the five minute segment, http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/29299258#29299258 , and see if the connection is there for you also. What a wonderful way to ‘sell’ the concepts of Control Theory by providing folks with the prospect of a longer, happier life. Live in balance and laugh often.